How becoming an empty nester changed the way I cook

It’s been nearly three decades since there were just two of us at home. Back then, in those early days, we had jobs with odd hours and a love of eating out, so that’s what we did.

We eventually became a family of five. Eating out was on the back burner, and there wasn’t a slow cooker recipe or hot dish I wouldn’t try to make our meals (and money) go further. We bought meat in bulk and shopped at warehouse stores; volume was baked into my culinary DNA. The cooking-for-the-masses mentality I possess is still a running joke in the family.

Now, with the last kid a college freshman, we’re empty nesters and back to where we started. We still have jobs with odd hours and enjoy eating out, but my love of cooking (and its dual function as a stress reliever) has me recalibrating the way I shop and operate in the kitchen for a party of two.

I lament that good bread isn’t sold in half loaves, make lasagna in loaf pans now and am more diligent about preparing meals with leftovers that freeze well.

I’m also more intentional about what I cook, eager to experiment and occasionally splurge. Scallops for five, no. Scallops for two, yes.

But there are hiccups. We have different palates — why can’t everyone love vegetables as much as me? And I could spend all day in the kitchen, but it’s not a priority for my spouse.

I quietly slid “A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together,” by Sonja and Alex Overhiser, into the house. In addition to an array of recipes for drinks, desserts, and dinners ranging from everyday meals to those for special occasions, it gives a blueprint for cooking together, assigning tasks to each cook.

“Cooking together is not for the faint of heart, the hotheaded or the proud,” they write in the introduction. “But if you’re open to it, it can be one of the best ways to grow a relationship.”

Or, in our case, nourish it. While I’m no kitchen novice, I’m also not used to sharing space in it. The Overhisers' tips about kitchen teamwork were helpful reminders.

Embrace different work styles. Messy cooks vs. clean-as-you-go cooks, recipe followers vs. freestylers: Figure out each other’s styles and appreciate them — there’s no perfect way to do things.

Delegate roles of head chef and sous chef. They recommend the head chef be responsible for reading the recipe and delegating tasks, the sous chef is there to take direction and make the meal a success. Be sure to rotate roles.

Have separate prep areas. It’s important for each cook to have his or her own space, even if it’s a cutting board at the dining room table.

Learn to admit when you’re wrong (or you’re both right). The authors say humility is by far the most important value they’ve learned in the kitchen. Voice your opinion, but know when to compromise.

It’s about the relationship, not the food. Cooking together isn’t about finishing the recipe in the quickest amount of time. It’s about enjoying the time together, no matter the results.

All good tips outside of the kitchen, too.

We paired recipes from “A Couple Cooks” with desserts from America’s Test Kitchen’s new “Baking For Two” to give cooks both special occasion and everyday menu options.

Love may not always be in the air, but it is in the kitchen.

SPECIAL OCCASION

Serves 2.

This pasta for two brings in one of our favorite flavor tricks: black truffles. The earthy, pungent notes of this notoriously expensive fungus take the dish to gourmet status. Look for natural truffle oil (not synthetic), which tastes delicate and authentic. From “A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together” by Sonja and Alex Overhiser (Chronicle, 2024).

Directions

♥ = cook 1 ♦ = cook 2

♦ Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Once you start cooking the mushrooms (in the following step), add the pasta and boil until al dente. Reserve ½ cup of the pasta water.

♥ In a large cast-iron or stainless-steel skillet, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the mushrooms and ½ teaspoon of the kosher salt and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Lower the heat to medium and cook until the mushrooms are tender and golden brown, another 4 to 5 minutes.

♥ Turn the heat down to low, add the garlic and 2 teaspoons of the sage, and cook until the garlic is starting to turn golden, about 1 minute. Add the truffle oil and cream to the skillet and stir until a sauce forms, then remove from the heat.

♥ ♦ Take the pasta out of the water with tongs and add it to the mushrooms. Stir in the goat cheese, the remaining ¼ teaspoon of kosher salt, and black pepper to taste. Add a splash of the reserved pasta water to loosen the sauce. Taste and add more truffle oil to taste. Serve immediately, garnished with the remaining sage and Parmesan cheese.

Tips: For oyster mushrooms, slice off the bottom stem to separate the individual caps. For maitake mushrooms, use your fingers to pull them into bite-size segments. For shiitake mushrooms, remove the stems and slice any larger caps into bite-size pieces. To clean the mushrooms, give them a quick rinse if you see dirt, and pat them dry (don’t soak).

Our favorite brand of truffle oil (TRUFF) tastes great with 1 tablespoon in this recipe, but each brand is different, so adjust to taste. Avoid using synthetic truffle oil if possible. If that’s all you can find, start with half of the amount listed (or less).

Serves 2.

When there are just two of you, an appropriately sized cake can feel more special than a large one, because it’s tailor-made for the occasion. This bespoke vanilla cake is a prime example. From “Baking for Two” by America’s Test Kitchen (ATK, 2025).

Directions

Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 6-inch cake pan. Using stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment or using hand mixer, beat egg white on medium-low speed until foamy, about 1 minute. Increase speed to medium-high and beat white to soft, billowy mounds, 1 to 2 minutes. With mixer running, slowly add 2 tablespoons sugar and beat until glossy, stiff peaks form, 2 to 4 minutes, scraping down sides of bowl occasionally; set aside.

Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and remaining sugar together in wide, shallow, medium bowl. Whisk buttermilk, melted butter, and vanilla together in second bowl then add to bowl with flour mixture and whisk until well combined. Whisk one-third of whipped white into batter, then add remaining white and gently fold into batter until no white streaks or lumps remain. Transfer batter to prepared pan and smooth top.

Bake until cake is golden brown, center of cake is firm to touch, and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes, rotating pan halfway through baking.

Let cake cool in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove cake from pan and let cool completely, about 30 minutes. Frost and serve.

Pan swap: Recipe can be made in a 16-ounce ramekin or a 9-by-6-inch rimmed baking sheet. If using rimmed baking sheet, decrease baking time to 10 to 15 minutes.

EVERYDAY

Serves 4.

A good peanut sauce is the perfect balance of all five flavors: sweet, salty, sour, bitter and umami. Here’s a colorful bowl meal we designed around our favorite one. Drizzle it over juicy chicken strips and a fresh salad of mango, red pepper, and cucumber, garnish with crunchy peanuts and fresh cilantro, and it’s *chef’s kiss*. Make it vegetarian or vegan by replacing the chicken with tofu. From “A Couple Cooks: 100 Recipes to Cook Together” by Sonja and Alex Overhiser (Chronicle, 2024).

For the chicken:

For the mango salad:

For the peanut sauce:

Directions

♥ = cook 1 ♦ = cook 2

♥ To prepare the chicken, preheat the oven to 400°F [200°C].

♥ Put the chicken in a baking dish and sprinkle both sides with the kosher salt. In a small bowl, stir together the olive oil, lime zest, ginger and black pepper. Brush both sides of the chicken with the mixture. Bake until a food thermometer measures 165 degrees when inserted at the center, 18 to 22 minutes. Cool for 3 minutes, then cut into strips.

♦ Meanwhile, to make the mango salad, put the mango, bell pepper, cucumber, red onion and cilantro in a medium bowl. Toss with the lime juice, olive oil, honey and kosher salt and mix to combine. Taste and add a pinch or two more kosher salt if desired.

♥ To make the peanut sauce, in a medium bowl, whisk together all the sauce ingredients.

♥ ♦ When ready to serve, toss a handful of roughly chopped cilantro leaves and a few pinches of kosher salt in with the rice and stir to combine. Place a serving of rice in a shallow serving bowl, then top with the mango salad on one side and sliced chicken strips on the other. Drizzle everything with peanut sauce and top with additional cilantro leaves and crushed peanuts.

Tips: Look for a mango that is still firm but indents slightly when pressed with your thumb. To make it vegetarian or vegan, use cooked tofu instead of chicken and agave syrup instead of honey. For gluten-free, use gluten-free soy sauce or tamari.

Makes 6 blondies.

These blondies have nutty complexity from browned butter. Melting (rather than creaming) the butter is also beneficial because it creates a dense and chewy blondie. To tone down the sweetness, we replace a portion of the sugar with corn syrup. A generous amount of salt in the batter and sprinkled on top brings all the flavors into focus. Due to the greater depth of batter and the high sides of the loaf pan, our small batches of brownies and blondies bake for just as long as standard full batches, but what’s the wait when rich, chewy bars are on the way? From “Baking for Two” by America’s Test Kitchen (ATK, 2025).

Directions

Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Make foil sling for 8½-by-4½-inch loaf pan. Fold 2 long sheets of aluminum foil; one should be 8½ inches wide, the other 4½ inches wide. Lay foil sheets in pan perpendicular to each other, with extra foil hanging over the edges. Push foil into corners and up sides of pan, smoothing foil flush to pan. Grease foil.

Whisk flour, table salt and baking powder together in bowl. Melt butter in 8-inch skillet over medium-high heat, 1 to 2 minutes. Continue to cook, swirling skillet and stirring constantly with rubber spatula, until butter is dark golden brown and has nutty aroma, 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer to medium bowl.

Add sugar to hot browned butter and whisk until combined. Whisk in egg, corn syrup, and vanilla until smooth. Using wooden spoon or rubber spatula, stir in flour mixture until fully incorporated. Stir in pecans and chocolate chips. Transfer batter to prepared pan. Using spatula, spread batter into corners of pan and smooth surface. Sprinkle with sea salt, if using. Bake until top is deep golden brown and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes.

Let blondies cool completely in pan on wire rack, about 1 hour. Using foil overhang, lift blondies out of pan, loosening sides with paring knife, if needed. Cut into 6 bars and serve.

To bake in an air fryer: Use 6-inch cake pan. Place pan in air-fryer basket, set temperature to 275 degrees, and bake for 50 to 55 minutes.