Dear Eric: A relatively new friend has invited me to a third dinner at her home, and I do not want to attend. Her first two meals were not well-prepared and not good.
One meal included fish that had an unappetizing odor and an unpleasant “off” taste. She also served barely warm, bland mashed potatoes and overcooked, unseasoned vegetables.
When I helped her clean up after the meal, I placed the leftover fish into the refrigerator. I could tell the interior was not very cold. Perhaps the fish had been sitting in the refrigerator uncooked for too long a time and was beginning to spoil.
The second meal consisted of hummus that had been sitting out uncovered so long it had started to develop a crust. Also, there were crackers and plain, overcooked broccoli. I ate only a small amount at each meal, telling her I was not very hungry.
I do not know how to tell her I am not interested in a third invitation to dinner. Other than her cooking, she makes a good friend. How can I bow out gracefully from attending her home for meals?
Eric says: Criticizing another person’s cooking can be tricky. If you think there’s something technically awry, like the temperature of her refrigerator, you can alert her — and potentially help her avoid illness. But it sounds like the bigger issue is one of ... well, taste.
I do hate being avoidant, but in this case the most palatable path may be to ask for another activity other than dinner. Perhaps, it’s a movie or an outing instead. You could reverse the invitation and have her over. If you emphasize that you’re interested in spending time together, but you’d rather eat at home, you honor her intention without having to make an unsavory compromise.
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