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As Father’s Day approaches I cannot help but think about my late father — a tough working-class man, a child of the Greek countryside who moved to the city, a child of the German occupation and the deprivations associated with it, a boy whose father died very early and who had to make his way in the world alone.
My father died almost seven years ago after a long fight with dementia. We were lucky that he went before he stopped recognizing us, but the last 10 years of his life were hard on him and my mother. Even after 44 years in the U.S., I think of him quite often, almost daily, usually when I tie my necktie.
I came to the U.S. very young and for many years did not need to wear a tie. When I started, once in a while, wearing a tie, I did not know how to tie a proper knot. I started making a very simple knot of my own invention. (No internet or YouTube then to teach me!) But eventually there came a time when I needed something better. I had an older friend who could teach me, but I believe that it is a father’s job to teach his son that skill and I wanted my father to do so. He did not wear ties often, but as a former navy man he had learned to tie them and his neckties were always great.
He was in the habit, if he liked a knot, of leaving the tie with the knot tied for future use. One time while visiting Greece, I asked him to teach me and even though he was not a patient man he gladly took the time to show me how. He taught me the simple (sometimes called half) Windsor and the double. He told me that the half-Windsor was his favorite as he thought it looked better.
For the past 25 years or so, from September to May when I teach, I have worn a tie two or three times a week. I know four different knots, but the half-Windsor is by far my favorite and the one I use the most. The mornings that I tie a necktie I look myself in the mirror. The older I get the more I look like my father (I act like him, too, I’m told!) and I see him looking back at me.
I like neckties a lot, and over the years I have accumulated well more than 100; I also like them to be colorful, unlike my father who liked his more “serious.” Also, unlike my father, I do not keep my ties knotted after I wear them, no matter how much I like a particular knot.
