Sheletta: In grieving Melissa Hortman, let’s show our gratitude to Minnesota’s public servants

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Public service may look glamorous, but it’s drudgery — and our leaders need our support more than ever. Let’s give it at every opportunity.

Heads bowed over flickering candles. Unwiped tears rolling down faces. Prayers whispered.

During the vigil at the State Capitol for House Speaker Emerita Melissa Hortman and her husband, Mark, mourners made a memorial of flowers, photographs and handwritten notes.

As hundreds of us paid our respects, we shared personal stories about how Melissa had helped us in some way and made a positive impact on our lives.

Every year, I host Black Entrepreneurs Day at the Capitol, bringing hundreds of business owners from across the state to meet with legislators to lobby for their businesses. And every year, I could count on Melissa to not only speak at the rally but also meet one-on-one with founders to help them find state resources so they could take their companies from just surviving to thriving.

This year, Melissa was upset that she couldn’t be there because on the day it was held, House DFLers were boycotting the legislative session over a leadership dispute with Republicans.

Melissa was so committed to leveraging her role as an ally in the Legislature to ensure our success that she helped me create Black Entrepreneurs Day 2.0. She and several other Democratic House members, including Reps. Julie Greene and Larry Kraft, joined dozens of Black business owners at Erta Ale Ethiopian Restaurant in St. Paul for an off-site meeting.

This busy and important servant-leader was intentional with the gift of her time. She listened to the concerns as well as the celebrations of Black business owners who didn’t live in her district, couldn’t vote for her and had never donated to her campaign. She used her knowledge and connections to give them advice and suggestions on how to access programs, grants and capital that could benefit them.

When Melissa yelled out her rallying cry — “Let’s go!” is a paraphrase that conveys the meaning, if not the emotional force — things went better for all Minnesotans, whether they lived in Brooklyn Park or Babbitt or Biwabik or Brainerd.

At the Capitol vigil and in our loss, we stopped to reflect on her legacy. But in casual conversations over and over again, many of us admitted that we never circled back to thank her.

In her modesty, I’m sure Melissa would have brushed off displays of gratitude. But my grandmother had a saying: “We should give people their flowers while they are still alive to smell them.”

I, for one, am sorry I didn’t show her more appreciation for all her hard work.

If only I had written her another note, mailed a thank-you card, sent her a text to talk about the way she constantly and consistently spoke up for Black entrepreneurs. I could have gone to her legislative website and typed out a few lines to express my gratitude that her assistant, Benji Brinks, could have passed along to her.

I realize now that I’ve never thanked Sen. John Hoffman. As a champion for Minnesotans with different abilities, his list of the people to fight for always began with the people who are typically last. My three children with special needs have benefited from his voice, commitment and legislation.

As I was leaving the Capitol vigil Wednesday night, I bumped into Paul and Mary Tokar of Coon Rapids. I’d never met them before, but as we talked, I said to them, “I so wish Melissa was here to see this. To hear the stories from people she helped.”

Instantly the three of us had one of those Aha! moments.

Paul and Mary and I may not see eye to eye politically, but then and there we agreed that we would send personal notes of gratitude to our elected leaders who work so hard, sacrifice so much and, in these polarizing times, put their lives on the line for us.

As the conversation with my new Coon Rapids play-cousins was wrapping up, I saw Gov. Tim Walz. I pressed my way through the crowd, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Thank you. I appreciate you. I’m praying for you.”

Because Minnesota has strict laws prohibiting even the smallest gifts to lawmakers, we literally can’t buy them a cup of coffee from Flava Café, but a phone call is free.

Public service may look glamorous, but it’s drudgery, filled with long, headache-inducing meetings, phone calls and late hours. The work is made harder when it is not recognized or respected. Minnesota politicians have never needed our support more than right now. We don’t have to agree with them to show them our gratitude.

It tore me up inside to see Melissa Hortman’s parents and her children at the Capitol vigil. But it did my heart good to know that they heard countless stories about the difference their remarkable daughter and mother made for so many people.

My fellow Minnesotans, after the week we just had, ask not what your legislator can do for you, ask what you can do for your legislator. Let’s inundate their email inboxes with Minnesota Nice notes. Let’s write them so many supportive letters that the Capitol mailroom staff has to work overtime to get them all delivered. Let’s place so many kind calls to their offices that we jam up the phone lines. Whether it’s your county commissioner or your school board member, council woman or mayor, I challenge you to press past partisan politics and send a shoutout to your elected leaders.

Don’t wait until a memorial to write about how much they mean to you. Do it now while they are here to appreciate your support.

Sheletta Brundidge is a contributing columnist for the Minnesota Star Tribune. She is a Twin Cities-based media personality, Emmy Award-winning comedian and radio host who aims to make you laugh and think. You can get more of Sheletta in her daily newsletter. Sign up for it on her website at ShelettaMakesMeLaugh.com.