Dear Eric: My neighbors keep their trash bins in their driveway close to my front and side doors. My living room and kitchen are right next to their driveway, so I hear banging from trash lids all day long.
When I worked, I didn’t notice as much. But I’m retired now, and am home much more. It is really getting on my nerves. I want to ask them to please close the bin quietly instead of just letting them drop and bang, but my husband thinks they will retaliate and make it worse.
We mostly have a good relationship with them, but I do not want to have this banging the rest of my life. What are your thoughts?
Eric says: If you have a mostly peaceable relationship with your neighbors, it doesn’t seem likely that a request like this would escalate to retaliation. It’s a reasonable ask that seemingly is easy to implement.
As with any other relationship, one of the foundations of good neighbor-hood is communication. So, don’t be afraid to speak up. Now, it’s also true that some people are jerks. And if that’s the case and they set about making more noise, rather than less, then you’ve got a different issue.
Money drain
Dear Eric: I have remained close with my college roommate, Chris, for 45 years. Life has not been easy for her. She’s had various health issues. And about 10 years ago, after Chris was laid off from a job she loved and had worked at for years, she found herself in a financial bind. She came to stay with my family for several months, rent free, while she looked for another job and an affordable apartment, neither of which panned out.
After advising us that she was going to stop looking until she got back from a planned cruise, I finally realized we were being taken advantage of. I asked her to leave, but before she did, we paid off her car loan to help her.
Since then, Chris has repeatedly called to ask for money. The last time she called I finally put my foot down and told her I was not going to give her any more money. Now I find myself feeling guilty, but I also worry about Chris and what will happen to her. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
