Yuen: After this election, our country needs to heal

Half of America woke up Wednesday to a country they barely knew. Devastation and disgust, outrage and disbelief: How could we send Donald Trump, with all of his defects and felonies, back to the White House?

The other half rejoiced in vindication, or at least felt comforted by hoisting the nation back on what they consider the right track.

Now that the election is over, the question is: How will we all carry on?

Rose McGee was one of those Americans who was pained by news of a second Trump term. She wonders what it would be like to engage with some of her Golden Valley neighbors who planted Trump signs in their yards.

McGee, who voted for Kamala Harris, is a professional facilitator. She also brings together people over her Sweet Potato Comfort Pie and conversation across communities, in hopes of fostering racial healing. “My work is trying to figure out how people can have conversations in ways that they can move forward and function together,” she said.

And yet if she ever were to sit down with a Trump-supporting neighbor, she is stumped as to what that conversation might sound like.

“I don’t know,” she said. “That’s why I’d like to have it.”

Maybe her first question would be: Where are we out of alignment? As a Black woman, she cannot afford to be aloof about matters that directly affect her. Trump’s racist and misogynist rhetoric, his support from white supremacists, feel awfully personal. “If you’re not particularly in support of issues that I consider to be human rights, does that mean you’re not concerned about me as a human being?” McGee wonders. “It’s deep and complicated.”

Pat Garofalo, a Republican who lives in Lakeville, stepped down from public office this year after serving two decades in the Legislature. He said after the DFL took total control two years ago — winning the governor’s seat and majorities in the Senate and House — Minnesotans lost something that had always made him proud: the ability to work together. (As of writing this column Wednesday morning, it looks like the Minnesota House is now evenly split.)

The polarization Garofalo started to experience in the statehouse mirrors what is unfolding in society at large, he said.

“Legislators don’t fall from the sky,” he said. “You have more and more people on both sides of the aisle who don’t want to hear things that are different from what they believe. Everything they get fed to them just confirms everything they already know. There’s less of a willingness to learn.”

Despite that, politics hasn’t driven a wedge between him and Democrat friends. He even made a point to share on social media that he and his family recently hung out with a DFL family and their children. “We all had a great time,” he wrote, and that was pretty much the post.

“It’s not like they’re Martians or something,” Garofalo told me. “We’re good friends, we can tease each other, and we can talk about things that aren’t political. Elections are important. But they’re not more important than family or friendship.”

This age of polarization also worries Naomi Ko, a Minneapolis-based artist who backed Harris. Her comedy troupe, Funny Asian Women Kollective, is performing its 10th anniversary show three days after the election. The group aims to bring more visibility to Asian American women and fight the kind of anti-Asian hate that surged during the COVID-19 virus. The show will be an opportunity to heal.

“Friday night is an opportunity to laugh, to be in community, and not feel so isolated,” she said. “We deserve to have joy in our lives. We’re going to try our damn hardest to bring a little light to our community.”

“I think we need that perspective shift,” she added. “At least for two hours.”

I’ve worried about our country and how we’d power through, regardless of who won this election. For people who are appalled by Trump, four years is a long time to live in despair or bitterness. But we can still have hope. We can make our local communities better. We can model respectful conversations for our children and grandchildren. We can listen with curiosity, rather than instant judgment.

But we should also do other things: Take a break from the news. Get outside. Adopt the puppy. Call your friend. Clean the house. Hit the gym. Make the trip. Volunteer. Find reasons to laugh, perhaps, amid the tears. If you’re tormented by the results of this election, don’t suffer alone.

If you supported Trump, check in on your friends, neighbors and colleagues who did not. Your compassion at this time won’t be forgotten.

A phrase I am clinging to in this post-election fog comes from conservative New York Times columnist David French, who says, “Protect the vulnerable and speak the truth.”

If Trump does follow up on his promises of mass deportations and punishing his enemies, there will be many people to defend.

As for the truth, we all have the responsibility to remain informed and level-headed, while making sure any news articles we share are from credible sources. Don’t let the algorithms that lord over our social media feeds push us to unwarranted outrage.

And if you’re grieving today, remember to keep fighting for the future you want. That won’t stop.

You know why? You’re half the nation. And you’re still here.