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The Minnesota Vikings have started the 2024 season 3-0, an excellent beginning and one that was somewhat unexpected. Predictions for the team were in the “meh” to “dreadful” range, and these first few games have been a very pleasant surprise to Vikings fans.
A lot of people are offering up a lot of reasons for the fast start: a new quarterback, a new running back, a new old guy in the secondary, a new kicker. These are all likely and plausible explanations, but the fact of the matter is, the Vikings are winning because of one thing, and one thing only:
Me.
Yes, I am solely responsible for the Vikings’ impressive start. Normally, I’m not one to brag or take credit that belongs to someone else. But in this case I feel justified and compelled to share with the world the exceptional work I’ve been doing.
Most fans have rituals for game day. They wear a lucky jersey, or eat nothing but potato salad in the first quarter, or stand on their head before a field-goal attempt. They truly believe they can influence the outcome of events with such nonsense, and while I empathize, I know they’re sadly deluded.
Here’s the truth: The Vikings win when I stop watching.