Medcalf: This summer, let’s all be more vigilant about our children — and everyone else’s

With tears streaming down her face, Ashley Berry pleaded for help.

“He had plans,” said Berry, the mother of missing Columbia Heights teen Jordan “Manny” Collins Jr., at a news conference last week. “So I know he’s not lost. I know he’s not just missing. He’s not just lost. He’s smart. He’s very intelligent.”

According to authorities, Berry’s 16-year-old son — who has been missing since early May — has not turned on his phone or posted on social media or even accessed money his mother sent to him via Cash App, all odd behavior for a young person in 2025. They suspect he is “likely” being held against his will and have identified a person of interest.

I hope Manny is found and I hope he’s safe. Anyone who has been a participant in his disappearance should be held accountable.

His case is also a reminder for the rest of us: as summer approaches, we should all be more vigilant about our children — and everyone else’s, too.

It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact number of missing children in America. But according to a National Crime Information Center report, there were more than 89,000 active missing persons cases at the end of 2020, and more than a third of those cases involved children. There were more than 365,000 reports of missing children that year — which is different from the actual number of missing children because a child can be reported missing multiple times in the same year and any adjustment to a case file can also count as a “report” — and more than 70,000 of those reports involved Black children.

Any missing child is worth our time, attention and a sense of urgency. But Black children are disproportionately impacted, according to the data.

The circumstances around missing youth are sometimes complicated. Yes, some children make the choice to leave home or get involved in dangerous activities off the grid. There are also kids, however, who are forced to fend for themselves because they do not have an abundance of family support. Others, with a misperception about adulthood, grow up too fast.

That is not, per Manny’s family, this teenager’s situation. But even if it was, it wouldn’t matter. Because he’s a kid.

And no kid can be culpable if they are missing because of an adult’s behavior or actions. They’re all vulnerable regardless of the events that may have led to their disappearances. And we should view them that way.

Forget the cause. Let’s just find these kids.

But in a society that’s more fragmented post-pandemic, I think there has been a tendency to be hypervigilant about our own kids — an exhausting task in itself — without the collective concern about the young people we do know. I did not grow up like that.

In the summers, my parents would drop off my siblings and me at my Aunt Sarah B’s house in Milwaukee to hang out with our cousins. On those days, there would be a group of us hustling down Atkinson Street to the park, past all of my aunt’s neighbors. Without social media or cellphones, her block had the most precise communication network I’ve ever known.

If one of us had been out of line or if anything potentially harmful had happened to us in that neighborhood, someone would have called my aunt. Even though we were not the neighbors’ kids, they felt compelled to protect us and also to let the adults in our lives know if we’d done anything to compromise our safety.

There are more layers to that approach today, which has made many of us hesitant to engage other people’s children, even if they’re in a vulnerable situation. One of my favorite shows — “What Would You Do?” — will often orchestrate real-life scenarios with actors that involve children who interact with suspicious adults. On the show, many adults step forward in those situations, and others do not. Those in the latter group often say that they didn’t want to cause a scene or get involved with another person’s child. Others admit that they were just scared.

Our children, however, will soon begin summer break and exist without the guardrails that school tends to provide. That newfound freedom will also come with risks. While I’m in favor of promoting independence for our kids, I also think it’s our responsibility to ensure that they feel safe and that they’re not in situations or relationships — especially online — with harmful adults.

I know there is a fine line between love and support and intrusion and broken trust with our kids, but knowing who they’re around and caring about their safety is just good parenting, in my opinion.

More than anything, I just hope Manny comes home soon. And I also hope this is all just a misunderstanding. Because this isn’t right.

“My son has been missing for 20 days, and it has been the worst 20 days of my life,” Berry said at the news conference. “It’s like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. If anybody has a heart or soul, if they’ve seen anything, if you’ve heard anything, please come forward.”