Opinion | When a hospital makes you fight for basic care

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My 3-year-old son was lying on the exam table in obvious pain. He had a diffuse, raw, red rash spreading across his body. We knew something was wrong. What we didn’t know was that getting him treated properly would feel like a battle.

We brought our son to Buffalo Hospital’s emergency room, expecting help. We expected the basics: that he would be examined thoroughly, that serious causes would be ruled out or treated, that we would be taken seriously as his parents. Instead, we were met with uncertainty and a plan to “observe” instead of act.

The physician in charge seemed unsure from the start. He mentioned possibilities like early toxic shock syndrome, but did not order blood work, cultures or a full sepsis evaluation. He suggested Tylenol and a steroid — medications that do nothing for a bacterial toxin-mediated infection — and told us to wait.

When I asked about doing labs to better understand what was happening, he dismissed the idea as “too vague.” When we said we planned to take our son to Children’s Hospital instead, he suddenly suggested calling them to discuss the case, as if it were an afterthought. We were left with the sense that he was out of his depth but unwilling to say so.

So we left. We drove straight to M Health Fairview Masonic Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis. There, our son was immediately diagnosed with staphylococcal scalded skin syndrome — a serious bacterial infection requiring hospitalization and IV antibiotics. The pediatric team treated it with the urgency it deserved.

Our child got better because we refused to accept a dismissive plan. But this experience has stayed with me, because it raises a bigger question: Why is it acceptable that families have to fight this hard to get competent emergency care?

Minnesota has some of the highest health care costs in the country. Many emergency rooms are staffed by large physician groups contracted by hospitals, leaving patients with little transparency about who is treating them or how much experience those providers have. Even when care is obviously inadequate, it feels nearly impossible to get accountability.

When our child was finally admitted and treated, we thanked the team profusely. But later, I wondered: Why did I feel I had to be grateful for someone simply doing their job? Why did it feel like receiving competent, compassionate care was a favor rather than a right?

We all pay for this system — through our insurance premiums, our tax dollars and our medical bills. In return, we deserve an emergency care system that prioritizes clear communication, prompt diagnosis and patient safety over liability fears and institutional inertia.

If a parent with no medical training can recognize that a child is too sick to “wait and see,” something is broken. If leaving a hospital against medical advice is the only way to save your child from delayed treatment, something is profoundly wrong.

Minnesotans should expect better. Hospitals and the staffing groups they contract with must be transparent about who is caring for patients. They must empower clinicians to say “I don’t know” and escalate care to specialists without ego or hesitation. And when patients speak up, they must be heard, not dismissed.

My son is healthy today, but not because the system worked. He is healthy because we refused to accept substandard care. That should not be the standard any family has to meet to keep their child safe.

Kathryn Reese lives in Delano.